I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We got so high we made milksteak
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
