ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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