Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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