the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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