I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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