U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
porn star boner night. come get it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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