Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
