I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
