Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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