dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
