I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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