You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
