There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
