She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Randomize
