She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
