lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
