Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
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