I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
