like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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