Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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