dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
