So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
