I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
