I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You are a genius and a whore.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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