Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
