If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
thus making me awesome and them whores
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
