i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
