Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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