Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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