i would punch a child for taco bell
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize