I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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