If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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