Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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