I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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