Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize