Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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