Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
