I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize