you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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