I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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