Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
