I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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