is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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