I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
