Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
