Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
