maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
