best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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