the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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