we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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