How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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