there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Randomize
