I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize