his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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