if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
