I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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