This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
