I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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