BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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