are you so shy because you have an std?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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