We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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