i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We need to rekindle our bromance
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
