About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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