Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
